Timeline
What follows is a very rough estimation of what happened and when in the HILT universe. Due to the inaccuracy of ancient histories, loss of records in the nuclear war, and the violent suppression of education by the Conglomerate, much of the information is incomplete, and all the dates pre-nuclear war are approximations based on educated guesses by modern Hiltstorians. Years are marked BC (Before Conglomerate) and AC (Air Conditioning. Sorry, I meant After Conglomerate) NOTE: ''If you're too impatient for this, try our highly abbreviated timeline for crybabies. The Corridor (9,000 BC) ''Main article: The Corridor In the year 2018, a nefarious criminal named Francois le Visage de Furet stole a recently developed, and still unstable, time travel device. Four agents were sent in pursuit, leading to a long chase through time, a chase which ended in the malfunctioning device transporting all of them to a parallel universe. The HILT universe, which had a Bronze Age era planet Earth with dinosaurs still living. Battle for Supremacy (7,000 BC) Main article: [https://hiltrpg.fandom.com/wiki/Battle_for_Supremacy Battle for Supremacy!] Earth was at this time dominated by five major tribes. Shandücha, Tsukonia, Brewtan, and bitter enemies Los Lobos and R.O.M.A.N. Throughout the generations, these five nations continued their battles, until finally in a decisive war Shandücha won a great victory, partly thanks to people and weapons falling into the still-unstable HILT world from other parallel universes. Isle of Lucy (5,010 BC) Main article: Isle of Lucy Seeking refuge from Shandücha, a mad scientist named Doctor Raleigh Ochoa retreats to an uninhabited island to continue his unethical experiments in peace. His first creation are fearsome krakens, which wreak havoc on some castaways shipwrecked on the nearby Rum Isle. Sea of Blood; Marcelot (5,000 BC) Main articles: [https://hiltrpg.fandom.com/wiki/Sea_of_Blood Sea of Blood], Marcelot Mere years after this adventure, the five nations once again collide in an all out naval war in the vicinity of Rum Isle and Doctor Ochoa's creations, hoping to assert themselves as superior in the age of gunpowder. On a nearby archipelago, similar chaos was happening. Scramble for Rum Island (4,500 BC) Main article: Scramble for Rum Island Fast forward about 500 years into an era of modern-ish warfare. Planes, submarines, aircraft carriers and the like, now fiercely locked in battle for control of Rum Isle, featuring many of the five nations as well as smaller nations just now asserting themselves on the global scale. I Like Trains; Ojinjintka; Die Hard on a Blimp (4,250 - 4,200 BC) Main articles: I Like Trains, Die Hard on a Blimp, Ojinjintka Shortly after this devastating war, the five nations settled their differences and established an uneasy peace. A VERY uneasy peace. While their treaty forbade a war on their homelands, the continent of the Americas was mostly unclaimed, so as the nations grabbed for land, they found a loophole in their treaty by hiring mercenary armies to fight over the land for them. Acquiring QH-29 (4,150 BC) Main article: Acquiring QH-29 Approximately 50 years after the events of Ojinjintka, an assortment of unusual types were thrown together in an unusual and altogether unpredictable series of events. Possibly unfortunate. Time will tell. The Great Accident (4,100 BC) Main article: The Great Accident Somehow, in a sequence of events currently lost to history, a huge nuclear war struck around 4,100 BC which wiped out practically all life on Earth. In a great twist of irony, the area the most untouched by this apocalypse was Rum Isle, where the majority of inhabitants, and Dr Ochoa's creations, survived. HILT Star Wars: The Search for the Falcata Fleet (4,100 BC) Main article: HILT Star Wars In the midst of this nuclear war, for reasons as yet unclear, a group of people were hurled from the HILT universe into yet another universe. One that appears very, very similar to Star Wars. Knights and Stuff (3,900 BC) Main article: Knights and Stuff As people rebuilt Rum Isle, their technology fell behind to the medieval period once again, as well as losing their historical records. Legends survived of Ochoa's monsters, but no one took them seriously until a group of noble knights sacrificed themselves in the discovery. Many Mortys died to bring us this information. Teenage Wasteland (3,000 BC) Main article: Teenage Wasteland Outside Rum Isle, the world was struck considerably worse. The majority of planet Earth was left a desert with only an occasional oasis to provide relief. Gangs of homeless criminals roamed, and many sinks were repaired. Stabbed MANY 1 Dude in the Eye (2,489 BC) Main article: Stabbed MANY 1 Dude in the Eye "Stabbed MANY 1 Dude in the Eye (And 1 Guy in the Foot)" (or simply SM1D for short) details the events of one unlikely group of strangers, and their largely unsuccessful rise to power and fame in the HILT universe. The events in this game detail the events of the year 2,489 BC, or like, around that time, and involves cool stuff like prison breaks, bounty hunts, eye stabbings, and the like. Certain Death (2,300 BC) Main article: Certain Death Due to the loss of records, it is practically impossible to determine even an approximate date for the events of Certain Death, but for simplicity sake this date has been chosen. In an epic war the main HILT nations united to defeat Los Lobos, banishing them into a large spacecraft and set adrift into open space. As the generations progressed, deep space radiation mutated those on board and the records were lost, but eventually they managed to take control of the ship, land on a habitable planet in the Andromeda galaxy, and plot their return and revenge on the Snickers galaxy. When these things happened is unknown, but thanks to PG Copper's time travel Corridor device, they reappeared circa 1 BC. And the rest, as they say, is history. The Conglomerate Saga (156 - 157 AC) Main article: The Conglomerate Faced with a desolate Earth, humanity had but one alternative. Begin researching terraforming technologies to salvage the planet. A discovery of Dr Ochoa's genetic research papers advanced the technology rapidly, and soon humankind had terraformed not only the Earth, but the entire Snickers galaxy (I prefer them to Milky Way). Planets were developed to the most luxurious of standards, religions devoted to sugar blossomed, curiosity peaked, and the French were banished to a far off world to themselves. Life was good. But just as humanity reached its peak, they were invaded from outside. A horrific alien species called The Conglomerate. They crushed everyone in their path, and after settling into the middle 50% of the galaxy, they left people on the outer rim pretty much alone. Until... A hardy band of renegades led by Anton Zerp, descendant of a long line of noble Shandüchan warriors, discovered a cache of weapons, strategies, and info left behind by a Resistance force from decades ago. Among the cache, the long lost Shandüchan Code. Reinvigorated by this outstanding discovery, humanity begins mounting a last stand against The Conglomerate.... But questions remained. Would this new Resistance be successful in defeating The Conglomerate? How did the nuclear apocalypse even begin? Who won the Scramble for Rum Isle? These questions will be answered... Or will they?